Want to know if your marriage will succeed or end in divorce? Go get a coin. Right now, go get a coin and toss it up in the air. (I'll wait.)
What did you get? Heads or Tails?
This is how much thought most couples put into planning their marriage.
And your chances for winning or losing at marriage with this approach is the same as your chances of winning or losing the coin toss.
I believe that pre-marriage counseling should be a choice, not a mandate. Who am I to tell you to take a closer look at yourselves? That said, I am constantly amazed by the great things that come to our couples who are willing to do just that.
Our assessment is not designed to "bring you closer to God" as the church assessments are designed to do (unless coming closer to God is your goal). Our assessment is designed to bring you closer to each other, and even closer to yourself.
I think this can be scary.
What might we find out? What might someone else find out? What if we're not compatible? What if he doesn't want to marry me? What if we find something that "can't be fixed?"
These are just a few of the fears that come to mind. So, most couples are unwilling to enter this territory. It feels like too much of a risk. I understand.
I would also say to you that all of these things you are afraid of, if left hidden, will come out in your marriage whether you want it to or not. It comes out in really sneaky ways, even in very creative ways.
When this happens, you will likely respond also in some very interesting and pretty predictable ways. Most of us get scared.
So here is my invitation. Take the assessment...now, not later. Come in for one feedback session. That's it.
That's Enough to Increase your Odds.
What this will do is simply increase your awareness. It will not only increase your awareness of what might be lurking, but it will increase your awareness of what you really have going on! What you are really good at, that you can build on as your marriage unfolds.
That way, when we go through all of the adjustments of early marriage, you can know what is going on. That way the transition doesn't have to be so big and scary. Instead, it gives you the information and skills to grow together through these times instead of growing apart.
For more information about the assessment, I invite you to take a look at the Prepare-ENRICH website.